Celebration

what do we celebrate in our short lives?

Do we celebrate things that are?

Do we celebrate things that were?

or do we celebrate things that have yet to come to pass?

thinking about it, are the things we have in the pass, present and will be getting (or not) really relevant to be celebrated since nothing is forever nor permanent?

since some people celebrate the ending as a form of new beginnings and departure for hopes or reuniting, are all occasions deserved to be celebrated?

one thing is for certain, the people around us makes a celebration what it is giving the word the meaning. we celebrate people, things, days and occasions with different people to bring different meaning to them.

do their value change? or do we ourselves change?

ps: celebrating the present is the best.

as time changes everything,

don't hold back for anything;

as things or people won't stay the same as the current,

celebrate the thing and people in the present;

regret catches up to us anyway,

don't let waste and time get in the way,

go celebrate today !!!

Christmas 2011

the holiday chain is upon us and this year the triple treat: Christmas, New years and Chinese new year~~~

this year was great, filled with friends, old friends, family and "family".

not often enough people get together, especially for the right reasons and for this chain, things should be looking quite.... festive, though decision making would be need for the maximizing the celebration.

Christmas was somewhat... over fulfilling this year, got a chance to meet up with old friends, older friends, friends; celebrated with family and met up with more "family"; got to make some folks' day a living hell with complaints all the way to the regional managers. really FESTIVE indeed~~

being with all these people of my live really reflect on the person i used to be with them and how i changed. as far as i can see, the changes are.... varied depending on situation that is, rather drastic. it is somewhat nostalgic to be the same person yet wonderful to have grown (up not old).

glad to meet up with friends eve's eve at a special "new location"; experience a Christmas eve night miracle which was delicious and blessed; had a blessed Christmas morning back "home". manage to set an expectation for myself for the days to come (of course, fulfilling them is a whole other story).

looking forward to the next holiday of the chain: end of 2011 and come 2012. hope there will be fabulous food as well (photos in FB).

ps: lets hope the world dont end yet ^o^.

insecurities = snowball

insecurity grows drastically like a snow ball on a frost mountain going downwards.

it snowballs from small to big, downwarding fast and dangerously out of control. And soon, glacial catastrophe befalls with a crashing, smashing end.

whats left is cold and scattered pieces....

conversation

what makes a conversation ?

the topic ?

the people ?

the interest ?

the pace ?

the sways ?

or simply the time ?

if so, what makes a good conversation ?

frankly a conversation can turn from a small talk to a debate within seconds and it really doesnt go far. so whats the key point to it ?

a new chapter, a new me ??

new environment, not too bad...

new lifestyle, can handle it...

a new me... might that be relinquished? or should it be continued....?

work life isnt half that bad. then again, its only the start of this life. guess there might be more installed down this road..

however, for this start ive adapted a new me, a new.... persona. not that bad one at that, but sometimes just feels the old me breaking through...

should the change remain? should i.... grow up ?

the first page of a new chapter

change is here again and yet to yield a side in which it should be, good or bad....

the new chapter , titled "adult life", "work life", "end of a 2-decade long status" or "new beginnings" describes this new change. However, each bears different meaning to the following pages, should the title describe the following story or is contrasts and surprise with a main twist define the suspense ??

learnt the thing today that combines the aspects of flow, form, structure and architecture today, helped balanced the change ^.^

RELATIVE

Interpretation is limited by the knowledge of oneself, and hence different to everyone

feelings are personal expressions, which is limited by the spectrum of emotions which we are opened to

can soul mates truly exist ?

can understanding, mutual understanding be achieved ??

Echo

Hello, hello
anybody out there?
'cause I don't hear a sound
alone, alone
I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
is the only voice coming back
my shadow, shadow
is the only friend that I have

listen, listen
I would take a whisper if
that's all you have to give
but it isn't, isn't
you could come and save me
try to chase it crazy right out of my head


I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
is the only voice coming back
my shadow, shadow
is the only friend that I have

I don't wanna be down and
I just wanna feel alive and
get to see your face again but 'til then
Just my echo, my shadow
you're my only friend

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
oh my shadow, shadow

Nolens Volens, 无奈

It is hard some times to ignore this lack of option, grudging, willy-nilly "nolens volens" feeling or situation.

"Nolens volens", 无奈, in Chinese really explain various of situation when we are seriously at a lost. Situation or feeling of loneliness, lost, helpless, abandonment, hopeless can really pun us in a very unpleasant place.

Even when situations demands it, the right option sometimes seemed so difficult or worse, is impossible to be found or made.

No explanation, no rationalisation, no choice and no help at all....

Spices

love the smell of spices, individually, together in a bunch and cooked together. worst part is, i cant cook. scratch that. im lazy to clean up after the cooking. :P

if flings are fun, relationships are burdens

so.... test the water ??

the passing of passion

passion, like everything in the world, passes on fast.

does it come to us when we feel it ?
why does it pass us by so fast ?
can we regain it ??
how often the same passion revisit ??

Bias

maybe you will feel bias-ness (towards or against you), but people must take a stand according to what they feel is right

facts of food: EATING FRESH FRUITS

EATING FRESH FRUITS

We all think eating fruit means just buying fruit, cutting it up and popping it into our mouths. It's not that easy. It's important to know how and when to eat fruit.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD.
Let's say you eat two slices of bread, then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it's prevented from doing so.

In the meantime, the whole meal rots and ferments, and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! Eating fruit like that plays a major role in detoxifying your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities..

You've heard people complain: Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc. This will not happen if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat!

Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes -all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit on an empty stomach.
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There's no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruit becomes alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret of Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get only the taste... Cooking destroys all of the vitamins.

Eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit-fast to cleanse your body.. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look!

seeking approval = seeking acceptance ?

are approval and acceptance the same?

at times when i think, they are, but then again, they are 2 different words for a reason right ?

seeking abstract thing such as approval and acceptance which are relative to every individual can really be tiring and, well... a no end task.

do we need these from our family, friends ?
do we need these from our relatives ?
do we need these from colleagues and peers ?
do we even need these from strangers ?

with abstracts such as these, approval and acceptance, there are bound to come with judgement. does good and bad always come with package ?

harboring in a new change

change is ever going on. although some changes are more easy to adapt, others aren't really that much fun to commit to.... learnt the hard way to accept it.

considering change is a constant factor, happening whether we like it or not, im taking a stand and starting a new change. hope i can stay with it, pray that it turn out well.

may it be or not to be something i'll be mourning (in terms of changes, considering i usually do), at least this time im doing it to myself. better to be focus on myself than the rest of the world, right ??
hmmm....

whats to change... personality? hobby? hobbies? food? work? schedule? interests? appearance?

note to self: not to change too much of myself !!

fruits VS sins

from the bible, it is mentioned that the fruit of the holy spirit be the following 9:

love,
joy,
peace,
forbearance,(patience)
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
gentleness
self-control.




associated with the entire balance theory, comes the infamous yet inevitable 7 deadly sins:

wrath,
greed or avarice,
sloth,
pride,
lust,
envy,
gluttony.

with new comer: acedia, vanity or vainglory

out of all the above, how many do you embrace on a daily basis ??



note:
toad = avarice;
snake = envy;
lion = wrath;
snail = sloth;
pig = gluttony;
goat = lust;
peacock = pride

sleeping and napping

basically the major difference between sleep and nap should be the amount of time spent on each action.

cant seem to recall the last time to actually "sleep" over 8 hours. its always been less than 5 hours since.... age of 13 i guess.

with recent events, good and bad (though mostly caused by busy life), havent been really asleep in a long time. guess this is called sleep deprived syndrome. the worst part is, im already so used to it, cant really seemed to shake it. its like a mental alarm clock going off after 3 or 4 hours, automatically wake up. sad..... T.T

question: any side effects ??

being normal is overated

what is normal anyway ?

the best answer i get so far is "normal is what works for you". dull much ?

doesn't it sound... boring, undefined
doesn't un/dis/non-individualistic

being normal is different in everyone's eyes. the term is totally relative anyway. whose to say who is normal anyway ??

so not to self: never be "normal" !!!

FOOD UNITED !!!!

food unties people !!! sounds familiar though, might have posted it before but can really feel the power of food uniting people...

food is essential toe everyone is without a doubt, common sense to everyone. flavor wise, various across, well.... just about everyone i guess. but without a doubt, everything that is cooked and better yet, sold is suitable for more that one individual.

from protein, to fruits and vegs, to oddities
from steamed, boiled, grill, BBQed, brazed, burned, smoked, and etc,
from sweet, sour, bitter, spice, salty, greasy, thick, mild, burned, raw, odd and etc.
there are bound to be more than one place to enjoy these delicacies either by combination or by specialties. there will also guaranteed to be more than one person, one race there enjoying the food. take the most recent "outbreak" of durian, multi- flavored questionable food with many various, wide range suitors.

talk about food, it can either start a conversation or end up in argument. either way, you'll end up eating.

ponder of the day:
is it better to start a halker stall or a restaurant ???

word of the day:
DELICIOUS ~~

the need to say "NO"

apparently saying "NO" is not as frequent as saying "YES".

a lot of time due to what the Chinese called "face", we don't really decline offers or practically anything else for that matter. it ends up in our own suffering.

saying "NO" really isn't that bad, if we dont want to do something, why be forced to do it just to please others for that few seconds, or to "save face" for that particular second.

supporting in saying "NO" !!

ALL YOU CAN EAT !!!

the thing about all you can eat buffet is there is no limit other than your own capabilities.

greed and gluttony usually, if not most of the time, overtake Chinese. which makes me proud i am one~~~ woohoo~~~

no matter that type of buffet it is, steamboat/bbq restaurant or just about any type of cuisines, the most obvious trend is people going for the food at the beginning, down it and repeat, and lastly left with those little (sometimes a lot) food left on the plate. i like to call it "OVERLOAD"!!!

*OVERLOAD is a state where one really have to push oneself to the limit (sometimes over the limit) to eat the last spoon of food.

eat at your own risk should really be placed at these places. seriously. it is so common that people are willing to skip meals to makes it all within a meal just for the worth of the money. is it really necessary ?? is this called "worth" ???

currently status: OVERLOAD ~~ ^0^

the song~~

ever had a song that keeps playing in your head for a long long time, repeatedly, endlessly ?? i have no doubt that everyone does....

it really does help keep one in check whenever the mood changes, depending on the song of course.

for me it changes a long the course of tracks being number 1, some not even there but still either sounds good or, well.... hits the spot.

currently indulging (for sometime now, which my friends and my brother already find annoying) Gee of girl generation~~

Gee GEE gee~~

obsession

nothing new everyone, special to every individual, certain for everyone.

how long can a person spend thinking, doing, checking-up, basically obsess with something before it becomes his or her obsession ??

can one even return after the obsession begun ??

been focusing on something for a few weeks now, cannot do anything else but think of it. if i could let it go, i'll throw it in the sea this instance. however, no such luck....

is it time to discard and give up, or simply change a point of view ??

angry bird = crazy birds ???

knock into a bird today. (?) or did it knock into me.... (?)

poor bird, too absorb in angry bird, come shoot at me..... good thing didnt scratch my car. ^.^

sorry birdy >.< , youget the wiper's kick //

ps: dunno if it is still alive ^0^

a no end direction

people find motivation in realising our dreams, which drives us to work hard for it. Its been so long now that ive forgotten my dreams.....

so much around me reminds me of what im not liking, this is so boring, this is not i want. But the saddest thing is, I no longer know what i want, what i like, what holds for me in my future....

are dreams or ambition as people say, abstract...??

am i the only one thinking and living life this way ??

fail at commitments

commitments really isnt for me, this blog is the best prove.....

anticipation and suspense

the anticipation and suspense of curiosity can really raise ones' heart rate off the charts. good for keeping thin, bad for the heart though....

eye contact

is eye contact good in a conversation, no doubt it is. but to what extend ?? do you look into the one you are talking to's eyes ?? do you look the person up and down ?? or do you "sight-track" ??

as quoted "one will only look into ones eyes (in conversation), when one is attempting to lie", any elaborations ??

recalling

recalling my past is so sweet !!! especially the past i recall have people i care about and they feel the same !!!

those who define us

being around different people all the time really does change oneself. being in a class of 50++ there are enough clicks or groups or gangs. as seasons change i guess people do too. there have been a lot of individual "migrating" around.

not sure im considered one of them but people sure beginning to think that. though not quite sure if thats a good thing or bad. i'll admit i have been floating around more often that i normally do, but have i changed as a result of this ??

it is rather visible that people changed as they changed into their clicks. is this adaptability ? is this fitting in? or simply acceptance ?? did those people change to become more of themselves by joining other clicks? or did they change to fit into them?

loneliness really is scary as much as it is inevitable, guess it is true to an extend that i can relate. hence the moving, migrating, fitting in, the changing of clicks and gangs. i'll admit that being around different people does makes one go through different things, do different things, adopting new habits and that might change you a bit in order to fit in.

for one i'll be myself no matter which gang im in. as much as i am afraid of be lonely , i am more afraid of losing myself. its just the measurement of spotlight i take. whether to stand out or stand down, being true to myself is the best~~

my most embarrassing post but might come in handy

this might be the most embarrassing post and image damaging post i will ever post but the effect is so great i have to share it !!!

as usual there are police road blocks on the road now and there, here and there. so one day, i was unlucky to meet up with one of these road blocks. while i was in the queue to the check point, i had an itch in my nose, so i thought there were like 4 5 cars in front of me, so i pick my nose. before i know it, the road ahead of my is cleared and i notice the policeman asking me to drive towards him.

i notice that he saw me picking my nose as his reaction turned into those disgusted yet funny look. when i was in front of him he just giggle and asked me to pass by without checking anything. i was like in a LOL mood after that and just went home.

haha~~

nose picking: embarrassing but effective !!!

My epiphany dream about life and temptation

had an unusual dream last night, one that i surprised i remembered most of it clearly (always could have, which people state is weird....) i dreamt that i was dead !!!

it was unusual the fact that i was dead and was a ghost. i dont really believe in ghost let a lot the after life, i believe in my place in heaven next to the lord. but as a ghost, i was given a chance to be brought back to life~~ kinda plot-tive, somewhat like a show i'll admit, but this only prove that i am dramatic.

so as i ghost, i was accompanied by another female ghost and we were given a chance to return to our bodies. was wisping and floating a lot of places until we arrive at my childhood neighborhood. at that point i realize that it was a dream, as it was exactly alike when i was a child while the place changed quite a lot now . (people also find it weird that i could tell when i was dreaming...) after i realized, i feel like waking up but in the end continued to dream as it was climaxing (a feeling i got). the female ghost was lured to temptation and was lost in oblivion. at that point i woke up by the annoying sound of my alarm.....

from Inception and a lot of other books i read in the past, i have learnt that dreams shows what is in our subconscious. the epiphany i got was how much i value my life and how i can resist temptation. listening to If I Die Young a lot really do make you think~~

Don't expect the unpredictable, enjoy them

things happen in life (recently for myself) to be somewhat unpredictable, it is true that change is in the air, in this post me included.

time and time again associated with events really open my eyes to the never ending changes of what time and life can bring about. this is pointed to things, people and myself. i guess maturity is factored into things, or at least how i see things now, notably about people and values. cannot help but enjoy the so called "bad qualities" learnt as a child and student. rationalizing them is so much fun !! take cheating, from the word itself is bad but associated with ambitions, really help someone go the distance. as for values, cannot help to enjoys terms like arrogance, manipulative and etc. which really turns things around to consider terms like hardworking and ambitious to be really... dull.

of recent events, thing have really been turning around for the better (other than wealth which is plundering). lifestyle changed for the better, is now more content with my religion, going the distance of taking risks and of course the ever enjoyable hobby >> eat, sleep & play (definitely beats Eat,Pray, Love, to an extend only of course). have since been able to open up my mind from the narrow barriers which once hold up possibilities. accepted things which have been making me a narrow minded person. though i consider this a downfall, but finally learnt the... tolerance, about the importance for studies and education.

learnt to be around people, trying to befriend and venture to groups of people outside my comfort zone and peers. unpredictably enriching !!! really no need to elaborate on that, no other words to explain it~~

losing focus on my main title today... oh well. its a rap for now.

Why keep quiet ??

among my most favorite quotes is "life gives you whatever you ask for", not really sure who said it first, but it really hit home and stayed there.

today, an article reads the title above "why keep quiet??" which is something i've to agree with. so many times, so many people don't dare to raise their voices in public, in a crowd, among friends even with family and relatives. excuses such as patient is golden is used and trying to make peace and tolerance is used. to me, all are utter bullshit.

let's talk about something who do everyday, eating. if we hate what we are eating, then don't eat it, and make sure it is not served to you ever again. but still we have to respect others and accept that a man's meat is another's poison. we don't have to agree or accept what people do, eat or believe, hack we can disagree and hate it; but we can respect them for what they do, like or believe in as who they are. hence you may hate the man but you may love his work. in this case more literally speaking.

politeness is just a morality line set by individual, its optimistic and general, never absolute. which is the same for rudeness. if it is not forbidden by law or ethics, why submit ourselves into doing something we don't like and unnecessary? quote from what happens in Vegas "i rather stay at home and do nothing, then do something i hate to begin with" (or something like that...).

something to think about: individuality and personal rights

people who knows people might know people

gossip could be considered the one most dangerous things of this era. may it be true or might it be made up, it is still fun to stir up or spread "news" regarding something or someone. Gossip is definitely a better knowledge or wisdom teacher than the education system, if only the thing people gossip about aren't... t-tales.

however, gossip may be fun but beware.... you never know who knows who and who knows what. people are connected all around and careful that some of them know people who might have a problem with the gossip origins~~

ps: strongly in love with gossip~~

the heaviest first step

does the quote "if they can do it, we can do it" applies to all ?? at some point i guess it is true, with that being interest is invested and all...

it really is narrowed down to the first step of anything we do. say classes, always a pain (especially when zero interest is at play and it is ridiculously boring), but once we get there, focusing on what is taught really isn't that hard. funny things is after being a student for so many years, I've just realized this, guess better late than never...

once the first step is made, knowing to do something or not really doesn't matter as long as we are doing something, hence winging it. with that comes individuality and innovation, which leads to more possibilities. and if we manage to do something better than others, let others follow our footsteps instead.

the first step, always the hardest...

Honesty

honest expression is always the best outlet, even and especially when it hurts someone. when it does hurt, you know the expression is heard (seen or taken). hence "the truth hurts".

a lot to celebrate

there is just a lot to celebrate this time of year for Chinese all around the world, for the lunar year just completed another cycle and Chinese new year is here. while celebrating that we've survived another year in the world, celebrating reunions with friends and family is also very much appreciated all around the world.

today a bunch of us manage to throw 2 friends a celebration (humiliation for more than 2 of them) of their birth for the 22nd time. it was sudden (cause i forgotten about it, which is why i need to thank shuwei and khaihsien who reminded me....), delightful and joyful. with everything thats keeping us apart, to know its these times that bring us together is so much of a comfort for what the rest of the year may bring....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OOO XINYEN & CHINYANG

&

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS

the grass is greener on the other side

there's always been truth behind this epic quote. In a way, it is always painted with green, as if in envy at the same time.

learnt through the holidays that there are other issues on the other side of the grass as well, just because they don't have our problems, doesn't mean they don't have their own.

education perk

while the word itself means what it means, education really feels somewhat less than... educating. considerably a perk in the education system (maybe just in Malaysia).

a wise lecturer once admitted that the education system in Malaysia is screwed up due to the teachers educating methods and of course the government's policies. She states that the fact that the government limits the advancement of each subject at each stage (mathematics in standard 1~6 for example, doesn't allow -ive values to occur, which isn't so as we advance into secondary education).

is this a education system perk or just the governments way of limiting potential ???

CHANGE

changes happen everyday bringing new and old things which could be good or bad. Is accepting a wise idea or denial a better exit ??

a new lease

2011 is suppose to be a new and better year, hopefully things will go smoothly in this year of RABBIT...

Let's hope and pray for the best.