i'm back ....

after being away for so long... really long

it's good to say "I'M BACK"

couldn't recall back on all the things where i left off

too much to recall what happen between...

so i'll just start form this point ^^

so i graduated from TARC Penang....

currently studying in INTI college in a Bradford program....

just ended my 2 month work in QB mall....

its a new start really, new place, new faces, new lecturers, new things to read do use spoil....

haha

and of course some old stuff never get left behind

like old friends (not age wise), some studied before syllabus, some older friends

although happy to have some familiar faces, old friends around....

I'm really excited about the new environment, new surrounding, new... possibilities

couldn't wait to make a name for myself (may it be good or bad....^^)

i really hope this new beginning can help me become better equip to the world i am going to be in soon after....

a farewell... to sis Wendy

so one of my sister in Christ has gone to the far away land australia for studies

had a farewll on tuesday

sent her off just now

its so hard to see people leave

it's harder to say good bye

when you know it's not tomorrow that you'll say hello again

but i guess we have to let go of people

cuz people always leave

if it's not them it's you yourself

so

will be praying for you all the way Wendy

from the day you left (today)

until the day you come back

... do come back to see us once is a while

haha

presents must be included

until next time then 

Faith in check

last week has really been spiritual

with all the tings im going through

i manage to maintain my faith

and that of course shown me a lot of miracles

more than i prayed for or expected

recalling every little detail of the pass week

i again put myslef to check

to check my faith, my believe, my love for Jesus

as my sister in Christ asked me

"How badly do i need Him?

Where is He in my life?"

i finally admited kneeling down

that i want Him more than anything else

and i put my everything to Him

through bad times, good times i know He is with me

and with this

i'll do all that i can to change myself

to be rooted in God's word

and one day

break free from the old-sinful self that i am

Prayer Rockz!!!

just after dig today

as always i went home with more than i bargain for

today was more than usual

so there are a few new faces

some also came back from holidays

a lot didnt come

hope there are ok....

will me praying for them

so before attending dig

i prayed for a few things

some answers, some signs

an dyou know what ???

EVERYTHING I PRAYED FOR WAS ANSWERED !!!!

i got answers to my questions

i got signs i wanted to see

i got advice i heeded for

it is so coooooooooooooooollllllllll!!!!!!!!

NOTE TO SELF

PRAYER IS VERY POWERFUL

Friends

friends

easy, common word found in everyday conversation

people we deal most with

something no one can lives without

something everyone alive have

but have you ever thought about it

who ARE our real friends ???

who can we consider a friend ???

what quality do we find in our friend which is important ???

i came to know a lot people in my 20 years of living on this planet

come to think of it

it's everyday new people

strangers change to acquaintance 

acquaintance change to named-people

i've heard people say that they make friends very fast

naive, infantile, optimistic but lame

a friendship is a relationship which requires two way bonding

how can we trust someone so easily ???

for me

sure

even for a pessimistic person like me

i have a whole load of friends which i consider close

they are dependable each in thier own way

i can trust them

i can share with them

the ups and the downs

we can even finish each others sentences

we share similer ideas and taste in live

some more than others

but some can help me out in ares the other cannot

i guess it's fair since no one is perfect

a friend in need is a friend indeed

so true as they say

as i am willing to be there for them

they are there for me

we tease each other

we quarrel

we yell

we disagree

but in the end we are still there when problems come

these are friends to me indeed

thinking back

the show "FRIENDS" is really a comedy teaching us about how to be a friend

and to have more than one close friend

i guess i can call myself lucky and blessed

what about you???

Before YOUR Love !!!

I wonder how I ever made it through a day
How did I settle for the world in shades of gray
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same
And you don't know why
And I looked into your eyes
Where the road stretched out in front of me
And I realized

I'd never lived
Before your love
I'd never felt
Before your touch
And I'd never needed anyone
To make me feel alive
But then again,
I wasn't really livin'
I'd never lived...
Before your love

I wanted more than just an ordinary life
All of my dreams, seemed like castles in the sky
I stand before you and my heart is in your hands
And I don't know how
I'd survive without your kiss
Cuz you've given me
A reason to exist

I'd never lived
Before your love
I'd never felt
Before your touch
I'd never needed anyone
To make me feel alive
But then again,
I wasn't really livin'
I'd never lived... before your love
I'd never lived... Before your love

And I don't know why
Why the sun decides to shine
But you've breathed your love into me just in time

I'd never lived
Before your love
I'd never felt
Before your touch
I'd never needed anyone
To make me feel alive
But then again
I wasn't really livin'

I'd never lived
I'd never lived
Before!...
Your!!...
Love!!!...

Birthdays

well just came back from 2 birthdays
one of family
and one of friend

my grandparents celebrated thier 80th birthday last weekend
they are of same age
thus helding a joint party with the same cake really isn't that bad
it was a grand celebration party
the whole family of near 30+ sons and grandsons gathered
relatives from my grandparents generation to my generation came
friends of young and old also join in the party
WOW!!!!
the food, the cake, the setting, the people
everything was GREAT!!!

after that
i went to my friend's birthday yesterday (tuesday)
it was at redbox k place
cool, since it was buffet + 7 hours of singing!!!!
and all under RM20!!!
total WORTH IT !!!!
but the main thing is i had so much fun
singing
playing
eating
being with my friends
and i am happier knowing that one more person is the same age as me
^.^
haha

well photos are on facebook
look me up

ocean size love

I know what I'm doing may be dumb
I know I should not be staring at the sun
But the thought of you leads me to temptation
It's the same whatever side you're on
Separated we are delicate and small
And the space between needs a retention

I see you right in front of me as close as you can get
And I pray that you won't leave this daydream yet
 
And it might seem much too far to get back to where you are
But it's close enough with an ocean size love
So if you can't reach out to me
Send a sign across the sea and I'll pick it up with an ocean size love
 
I don't have to worry anymore
If I really need you I'll go to the shore
And the thought of you there is my protection
 
I see it right in front of me
A vision in my head
And I know this is as real as a daydream gets
 
And it might seem much too far to get back to where you are
But it's close enough with an ocean size love
So if you can't reach out to me
Send a sign across the sea and I'll pick it up with an ocean size love
 
You make no sound but I can hear you in the wind
I can see this never ends
Like the sea
Like you for me
 
And it's close enough with an ocean size love
So if you can't reach out to me
Send a sign across the sea and I'll pick it up with an ocean size love
And it might seem much too far to get back to where you are
But it's close enough with an ocean size love
So if you can't reach out to me
Send a sign across the sea and I'll pick it up with an ocean size love

Recap

so what happened...?
let's see

before my January end holiday...
i was sitting for exams
must say that it was the worst
cause my birthday is write in the middle on 2 papers
sob...
but
i did manage to celebrate
a few times actually
so i say not that bad

ok
chinese new year eve
i went back to my home-home-home town
i got to see my grandparents, my cousins, my uncle-aunties
there was a lot going on
house cleaning, managing children, eating
the eating part i like
i must admit, with my little cousins all older now
the house is rather "peaceful", in a good way
the reunion main meals was awesome
with my grandfather preparing what is cooks best
and some food bought back from restaurants
good, delicious, excellent !!!
oh ya
my cousin, Pearlynn celebrated her birthday that night
which was really great as firecrackers was not "available" this year
her birthday was a joy for the littler-ones to get around
that and the tv

the very day of chinese new year
the first day of the lunar calender
need me say... ANGPAU !!!
can't celebrate CNY without them !!!!
then there was meals again
and again the food was exquisite!!!
we all manage to sit together for meals before parting ways
Singapore didn't gave much holiday
and my family had to travel back to home-home town for my mother's side's celebration
i must say that CNY changed as we get older
this year i didn't get the chance to see my friends on the first night of CNY

the second day of CNY
i went to my mother's side family for CNY celebration
this side of the family is bigger
as most of my cousins here are married... haha... ^^
MORE ANGPAU !!!
and the food here was awesome too
a different taste... best still GREAT
i finally got down and gambled for the first time of the whole year
which is mostly the only time
manage to get some ^.^
thanks to my generous cousin-in-law

the 3rd day was rather a bad one i must say
the morning was... as usual as i must say
house cleaning and all
but at night
i went to my dear friends place to celebrate her birthday
E's birthday was celebrated a day later but hey
still the same event, just as well
a meet up with more friends
we talk, eat, play
on the way home...
i was stopped by the police and was fined !!!
bumper
but had to admit...
i was rather my fault
2 months of road tax expiry, first block
i consider myself lucky
but still... at the beginning of a new year...
sigh....
i went to my friends place after that
which manage to lift my spirit a bit before calling it a day

the 4th day was even more packed
as my yet another cousin was getting married
the morning we went to her house for the ceremony
it was definitely a joyful day
which help me get over my bad one the day before
again good food and gambling
i must say
my aunt and cousins are really good cooks
and definitely knows how to enjoy it
the night was the buffet at a western restaurant
i praise my cousin for stepping out of the tradition
doing something new, free-style... something BETTER !!!
after that
i joined my friend again before ending the day

the fifth day wasn't anything much going on
just farewells for friends going back to study
and me back to exams
sigh
i guess as time goes by standing still ain't going to change anything
even we ourselves have to admit to the flow of time
and move on with it....

that's what i can remember of my 2009 CNY
hope i didn't left out anything
i noticed i mention food a lot
haha, as the Chinese says "eating is only natural"
^.^
a bit late
but HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !!!

I'm back but still busy

Exam finally ended
hence begins my holiday

but still very busy to update this blog
i've just came back from a vacation with a few friends
still handling some minor issues

i'm even more busy compared to when i'm studying for exam
but i must admit
i'm happy to be busy in such things compared to exams

^^
i'll be updating the blog as a whole
maybe middle of the month...
maybe...

CNY and happenings

so ermmm....

chinese new year just came

actually its still on until the 15th day of the lunar month

a lot had happen last week

2 birthdays, 3 including my own (but that was 2 weeks ago)

a wedding

a lot of reunions

exams

and samans !!!

so there is a lot of ups and downs to start a new year

for now

i'm preparing for my final 2 papers

hence i'm stalling the details for later

be back on friday (my last paper)

miracles during exams

well today is the last day of exams prior chinese new year

in a way 

i feel that exam i totaly over...

slacking already...?

well i'm not the kind of person that study often

as if in

"only study when you absolutely have to"

not a moto

however

when it comes to the time when "really have to"

man...

it is a pain in the butt....

but... this time it is a lot different

everytime before starting a day

even before starting studying and doing revisions

i would pray

and studying will proceed easily

as if in can finish in time

don't get drozy at all

when i came to exam day

i would pray before doing anything

before steeping into exam hall

before reading the question

during reading the questions

and during answering

calmness seemed to overwhelm me

i didnt even felt nervous

COOL HUH?

well

today a miracle actually happen

just like ronald said

i manage to answer some questions

up until the final question and final 5 minutes

when i desperate for the answer

a voice literally told me the answer

and i know it wasnt me 

cause i didnt do revision on that question

the only time i heard about it was... 4 months ago

in lecture

so... COOL

GOD GAVE ME THE ANSWER I NEEDED !!!

CRESCENDO

Each and every second, you're so lovely...
The beats of my heart keeps resounding...
As we walk together on the way back we sink into silence
Clumsily, these feelings that I cannot convey

Walking quickly through the four seasons that move quickly,
In whatever scene, I want to see you right by my side.
Humming a favorite phrase of mine,
'if it's you, no matter what the sound,
You'll be able to play it, right?'

Each and every second,
I want to burn you into my memory.
Your pouts, your smiles, everything that paints you who you are,
everything is now dancing with the wind,
gently enveloped by the wind.

Your words made my eyes shine,
The story of our dreams that we paint knows no bounds.
At that time, you casually gave me, who was lost,
a push on the back, didn't you.

You, who is living 100% in the present,
you twinkle brighter than anyone, just like the Sun.
The miracle of meeting someone
I want to know you even deeper, even if I get hurt

Each and every second, you're so lovely...
The beats of my heart keeps resounding...
I vow to become strong someday...
So I can spread my wings...
To always look over you...
more than everyone else...

An experience never will forget

so it was the time when i hate to be studying, exam time
this time
it sucked a lot more than those before
the exams are held weeks before chinese new year
bummer !!!!
and here i was...
enjoying the new year and call (2009)
enjoying my changed life
only to be brought down by these "inescapable" days of student life
yeah me.... and those studying in the same college as i

so this week was all about study, prepare, sitting for exam week
so much "fun"....
me and a few close friends were like nomads
changing location to study
looking for people smarter, more well equipped to teach us
via calling, msn, sms....
anything to get a hold on info, answers and solutions
it was all niter until early in the morning everyday...
haiz... sien...
the first paper is like 3 feet under...
the second was better... more confident in it...

ermm...
over the time i studied
i did pray for being able to absorb info faster
which was answered... much to my relief
i can feel myself understand things easily... easier..
and at times when i needed small help... i feel Him there...

on Friday
i went to my church to join a few close friends
we came together to wash each others' feet
as Christ did for his disciples
he served them by washing their feet as a symbol of cleansing them of their sins
we did what He did with the same motifs
to learn to be humble
to learn to serve others
to learn to love one another
to learn that we are all the same
to know that we are brothers and sisters
before going there
i was like... this is going to be a fun experience
as we read through the bible
i began to take it seriously
and began to become a little emo
then Ron clarified somethings
and we began

i was really emotional
both mentally and spiritually
as i see my seniors
on their knees washing my feet
praying for me
i cannot describe how i felt
it was peaceful, yet... touching
it was... humbling... yet honoured
as it goes on... i wept..
it felt so GREAT
when it was my turn
i was afraid that i will say the wrong things
or did say what i really wanted to
that my prayer will go wrong (something i'm still working on)
but when i knelt and wash their feet and pray for them
the words came out exactly as i wanted
i felt the Holy Spirit guiding me
being with me
it was humbling... it was peaceful... it was joyful
it was... in one word... AWESOME

then i got the message from Him
that all my life
i had my own values in everything
my way of doing things
my ways of understanding thing
and i realised...
most of it are written in the bible.
(well other than those sinful things, which i'm doing all i can to avoid now)
i was right where i belong
i was home


after that...
i was full of energy
could not stop smiling
when i joined my friends to study that night
they said i was glowing

this is such a nice experience
it was really emotional, humbling
yet honored, graceful, joyful at the same time
after that
i really forgot what everyone said
all i know is...
it was SO GREAT !!!!!
this is an experience i would not forget for the rest of my life
and if God's willing
i would like to do this again...

Splendid Sunday

such a splendid Sunday i had today
so spiritual, so relaxing, so joyful
filled with encouragement, experience and knowledge

in the morning
i join a few friends in solitude
i was held at the beach early in the morning
i was hoping to see the sun rise though :p
but what i got instead is so much more

we splited up so that we can be alone
to concentrate and not distracted by anything or anyone
just being there to feel, listen or see to what the Lord have install for us
after a few moments of prayer i was ready to hear and see

at first it was nothing that come to mind
so i walk a bit more
changing view, changing location
this first significant sign i saw was a bigger bird attacking a smaller one
i see them struggling
and i feel for the smaller one
but in the end
the smaller one manage to escape from the bigger one
and the bigger didn't give chance and let it go
to me...
the massage that i got was
"there will be bigger dangers or challenge that we are going to face in life
it might come to us or we will find them
but if we have faith
no matter how big the problem is
we will make it and rise above"

then in a while
i didn't see anything
so i sat down looking at the waves
and i related the waves to myself
the waves were rough at first
just like my life was
then it became calm, slow
just like my life is peaceful now
but then... the waves gets rough before calming down again
and i thought
"the waves represents my life
i was so lost in the roughness of life
then it became calm after i accepted Christ
and i am his hands
and i am willing to face the roughness of life in His name
doing what he wants me to
according to what he has plans for me"

after that i was at peace for a while
when i open my eyes after that
the first thing i saw was a red ball thing
at the edge of my sight, far away in the sea
it came from a boat
and in a distance, there is another boat
the red ball thing begins to float away from the first boat
in the direction of the other boat
while away from the first boat
it disappears several times and reappeared again
at the same pace, i thought i will reach the other boat already
but it took such a longer time than i had imagined
the other boat also seemed to be distancing from the red ball
finally
nearly 6 times longer than i expect
the red ball reaches the other boat
the vision i got was
"my life with Christ had just begun
and i would inevitably start to leave my home, my family, my comfort zone
and the road will be rough, rocky
and on the way i,we will sway away from him
keep in mind that we do not sway away completely
and always keep ourselves on track
keep God in our hearts
at times, we might feel that we reach our goal or accomplish something
but it is not our final destination
when we arrive at out final destination
we WILL know we are there"

Please acknowledge me

"Fresh, baby, new, just begin…."

I’ve been getting a lot of these comments lately

"There’s a long way to go, it is just the beginning of your journey, there are a lot more to learn"

Likewise

I must agree to all these, as I am everything mentioned

But I want to be so much more

I want to do so much more, to help, to share the burden

I want to learn so much more, to experience, to share the worries and joys

Insecurity, doubt or any other thing you may call me

Cause those are me

I keep feeling left out, incompetent, invincible

Shallow?

Maybe… just a bit… maybe a lot

I’m willing to spend the time to learn, to change, to help

For the time seems to be slipping away

So much time wasted

So much to do

Yet don’t have the effort to accomplish

Don’t have the time… exam… graduation…

It’s all so heavy….

But I will do my part to help

I’ll be praying for the right answer, the right choice, the guidance…

I just hope I don’t let anyone down…

And I hope I don't let Him down...

Solitary, the beginning and end

Solitary, the beginning and end

This week started off with rather low profile

Being sick is no fun at all

Climbing out of it without medication is the challenge

But I still stand on no medication

The flue took a toll on my shopping weekend

Manage to go at least a day

But didn’t get what I really wanted

I guess the second trip is needed

The hunt is on!!!

 

Came back to hostel to find friends in need

Is the festive season bringing people down?

Or is the time and phase where people have to go through for the new year?

The tasks and obstacles came before the coming of a dawn…

A sign perhaps?

Well delay the thunder queue

I was glad I manage to help them

In whatever way they found help in me

They all manage to get through their problems fast

I really hope I manage to help out

Either way

Congratulations on your breakthroughs

 

Well the coming of the new year was celebrated very nicely

Mix of concert, movie, bistro, relaxing, sharing and beach breeze

Hung out with a few friends

While kept in touch with others at the same time

Although the phone bill is costly

The down part is some of the sms didn’t got out

And I have to redo them

While balancing the fun

Though not liking it

Manage to grasp sometime for studies

So sad the fact my finals are coming

Note to self “TARC is bad at scheduling exams”

 

Haizz..

A new year has came

Resolutions anyone?

Hopes anyone?

Dreams anyone?

Plans anyone?