So stressed

so today 

i told my mum about my decision

about being a christian

to prepare for it was nothing like what i ever have to do

i was more stressful than going on stage

i was heavier than any presentation

i was more tense than any exam

before i told her

i got some advice from my friends

which help a lot

thx 

i actually wanted to withdraw from the idea in the afternoon

wasn't ready for the outcome

the bad ones

but the urge to tell them is so strong

to want to go to church in the open

to do things in the light

to not further make excuse

create more secrets and lies

so her reaction was rather expected

she declined my question why a simple "no"

no yelling, no shouting

with that she said she been through the same thing my age

and that i'm still young to actually make up my mind and commit

and that should focus on my studies before all else

she doesn't sound against it

just not yet given the green light for now

i guess it could have gotten worse

compared to what my friends told me

but hearing what she said

i must say i agree to what she said

that i'm young and i should focus on my studies

i guess i just have to wait 

however

i still don't feel stress free after tell her

and hearing her answer

so stressed....

Christmas Celebration

Celebration

This Christmas was the greatest one I had

Greatest in the sense that I did not only have fun

I got to learn a lot of things

Got to know a lot of friends

Got to take a lot of photo ^.^

Got to spend time with my friends

Got to exchange and receive gifts

Got to share and exchange thoughts

And most of all got to have lovely meals!!! (Is to have it with friends)

 

So for Christmas Eve

I start off the day with some Christmas last minute shopping

Wanted to get gifts for my gang, my small group and for exchanging

The worst part of festivities are getting presents

Especially for the exchange where you are uncertain of the gender your present will go to

Frustrating right?

So after between that

Me and my friends gotten hungry and settle for Manhattan Fish-Market for brunch

It was a great Christmas morning

For afternoon

My friends and I manage to get our gifts and exchange them

At night, the main celebrations began

I had dinner together with some friends

We chat, play games, watch movies, took photos and enjoyed the feast

After that the celebration changed location

Where we had a concert, the gift exchange, played more games and count-down

It was a great Christmas Eve indeed

 

The next day, Christmas Day, today

I got up early and headed out in the morning

I went the HBC and began preparing for the day’s celebration

I was very busy helping out

In a way it was good because it took my nerves and tension away

 After singing some carols

We listen to a preach by a experience and wise man

After that

It was my time to take the stage

I was so nervous that I didn’t even hear them call my name

Since it is based on my true story and experience

I wasn’t as bad as I think it was

Of course, His presence helped me get through my salvation testimony smoothly

After that we had pot-bless together

Once again, great food

After that

There were more chatting, photo sessions, gift receiving and giving and sharing

It was so fun yet radiating at the same time

I had a wonderful Christmas this year

And to everyone

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (2008)

Embracing and Feeling

So much has happen in the last weekend
ermm.... there were harsh times, happy times and even spiritual time
all spent with friends
all very pleasant (some less than others though)

On friday
i've finally rid of the heavy burden haunting for the past week
i was at a breaking point waiting to crack
luckily it came to an end before i blow a fuse
friday was the day i passed up my assignment
gotten through my presentations
and seated for my mid terms
it was such a relief when it came to an end
to finally have a chance to catch a breath
that night i celebrated with friends
we watch movie and ate dinner, supper together
it is moments like this that i have friends
friends who enjoy fun times and suffer bad times together

Saturday was the day to relax
i when to meet up with some friends in the morning
which ended up spending the whole day with them
i had a chance to open up my heart to a dear friend
about my worries, my feelings and thoughts
i guess everyone needs to open up to someone once in a while
i am blessed to have such friends who are willing to listen and give advice

sunday was the most happening day of the weekend
i got to witness a Baptist ceremony
actually several times on the same day
it was wonderful
to leave everything of the past behind to restart anew
i hope that my chance will come
but not before i am ready
my friends testimony was a touching one
one that i think i will remember from now and then
the same night
we when to catch a play about a man's real life experience
on how his life was a mess before and how his life changed after getting to know God
to my surprise my life is more or less like his
without drugs and gambling and other illegal stuff

on the way back
i was actually afraid of something my friend said
afraid to a point i never felt in a long time since the first time
the worst part of it was
when i told him
he felt guilty about it until he called me up to apologize
after hearing what he said
i must admit i was still afraid of a few things
but was a lot more relief
however i felt bad to have him feeling guilty
so if you ever read my blogs
"i'm sorry to be weak, i'll try to be stronger from now on"

ermm...
Christmas is literally at a corner now
and i am looking forward to it
so joy to the world
and merry Christmas to my loved ones
my friends, my family

there are no limits to success

whatever you can do

or you think you can

just do it !

there are no limits

to what you believe

to what can achieve

create passion to your dreams

always seek and descover new challenges

embrace the richness of each experience

believe in youself and your potentials

put you uniquesness, talents and dedications

in everything you do

never settle for anything less than what you can be

what you dreamt of

you will always find success in all thet you pursue

Transformation & Relief

so I’ve decided to change myself

that would be inner and outer

 

so today I got my presentation done

it's so great everything came around when it did

the anticipation is so dire, so vast

getting through it was like lifting a burden

the presentation went on as well as I expected

though improvement is factor not exactly have no room for

with all else said

just glad it is now over and I went on smoothly

^.^

 

the celebration was light

i manage to hangout with some friends

we hit Manhattan Fish market

not a bad place to eat i must say

the butter rice is WOW

the service is great

the freebees are all so generous

^0^

shout out for the next time

 

after that my friends took me shopping

i am wanting to change my wardrobe during my transition

this is part of the transformation

and their tast is amazing

really appreciate them to be late for class with me to take me shopping

:P

sorry we didn’t make it in time to class

mean while

miss kee needs to a little bit less uptight

the outfits i got was something i must get use to

but not regretting buying them

though my wallet is now.....

 

so now i'm off with other troubles

until next time....

 

tough week

Presentations deadlines

Report due dates

Midterm tests

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i'm losing my mind here

someone... anyone... God...

please help me to get out of the stage of burden, pain and suffering

back to work again...

The second step

today was rather tiring 

went on morning-afternoon trip with some friends

megan ronald mirelle and wendy

breakfast, shopping and lunch

i got my first"basic-insturction-before-leaving-earth"

yeah !!!

i consider this my second step to my transition

after deciding to begin was the first one

^.^

i feel so much more dedicated with it

hopefully i can finish reading it as soon as possible

goodluck to me 

hehe~~

New life, new things, new friends

wow

the last time i updated this was like... 2 years ago

sooooooooo much has happened since

so lets see a brief update

about me....

student life...

i'm studying electronic engineering in tunku abdul rahman college

it is my second year in diploma stage

what to be said about the course...

there are ups and downs with subjects, lecturers and peers

although

for my social life....

i did manage to get to know a few cherished friends

whom which taught me, suffered and laughed with me through ups and downs these 2 years

ermmm...

i'm still in contact with some of my old friends

though the rest are....

please keep in touch...

details will be updated soon

my personal life have also changed a lot

i've dyed my hair many over...

currently a red head

still thin... which i'm happy about

nothing much about me that i dont know

oh ya

i'm going through a life changing transition

a big step...

the biggest step i ever took in my life

at least now i'm more content and secure compare to who i am before

my love life....

in and out...

broke through several stages of mourning, rejoicing, suffering and rebouncing

to top that of...

i am currently ina relationship...

but i think i'm available...

strange enough ???

got me too

well for more updates go to my other blog at

http://superstarsapphire.spaces.live.com/

for photos the website has a lot

but do add me in facebook for updates too....

ps. comments will be reply (if i'm not too busy)

      and dont hope for continuos updates ^^